Meandering Thoughts of MomTo3Kidz

 Everyone was meeting at the breakfast buffet yesterday before we left for home. Craig and I were running around getting our car loaded before eating breakfast, so that we didn't have to walk all the way back to our room.  The Breakers Hotel is HUGE and it was a major hike to our room and back to the lobby.  I saw Andrew on the way out to the car and told him where to go meet the rest of the family.  While I was in the parking lot, my mom called to see where we were and said she didn't know where Andrew was.  Great. 

 

We got into the building and went and stood in line to be seated.  Devon called Andrew to find out where he was.  I heard Devon telling Andrew that he was in the wrong restaurant.  As we were escorted into the dining room, I saw Andrew sitting with my sister, her kids ,and my parents, with a big plate of food in front of him.  As I walked up to the table I saw my mom take Andrew by the arm and put her face in front of his (OH crap!) and say, "You do not talk that way!" Andrew jumped up from his seat and shoved my mom.  My Dad said, "Get him out of here NOW!" My mom got back in his face again (not a wise move with a 6'3" autistic boy) and said, "YOU do not shove me. Do you hear me?"  Andrew shoved his chest into her and said, "Why? You wanna piece of this?"  I swore he was going to rip her head off.  Somehow Craig got Andrew steered out of the restaurant as all of the customers looked at us like we were part of a bizarre side show.  Devon and I beat a hasty retreat as well. 

 

Andrew took off running out of the hotel, and Craig chased him.  I hid in a bathroom and tried to collect myself so I didn't turn into a blubbering idiot.  I finally started walking around the outside of the hotel to calm myself and look for Andrew at the same time.  Craig called me and said that he managed to get Andrew and steer him to the car to wait for everyone to get ready to leave.  Victoria was the only one in our family who actually ate breakfast.  Devon and Andrew were on a rant about old people and spoiled little kids when I got to the car.  I knew better than to try and reason with them at that time.  Craig had tears in his eyes when I went to get in my sister's van with Victoria for the ride home.  I knew exactly how he was feeling.

 

I waited until evening to talk to Andrew about the whole fiasco.  When Devon called Andrew he didn't see him in the restaurant.  Andrew was confused and frustrated because Devon kept saying he was in the wrong place.  He was sitting with his family eating. How could he be in the wrong place?  He was concentrating on what Devon was saying on the cell phone and the three little girls all started talking to him at the same time.  He yelled at them to shut up.  One thing about Andrew's disability is that he cannot tolerate a bunch of voices at the same time.  He hasn't been able to handle it since he was 4 years old.  This was even worse because he had 4 voices directed at him at the same time.  Then my mom got in his face about yelling at the kids (voice number 5 - with attitude to boot) and he blew.   My mom touched him and got in his face a second time. YIKES! Thank God he didn't hit her.  He is one big, strong, young man. 

 

Disciplining Andrew has to be done at a distance, very calmly, with as little malice as possible.  Apparently people don't know that, or forget who they are dealing with when they get irritated with Andrew's behavior.  People (teachers included) forget about his PDD-NOS, and treat him the same way they would any disrespectful kid.  I don't think he should get away with being rude, but I have learned that addressing the problem has to be done when he is calm, not in the heat of the moment.  He doesn't have much self-control and his processing speed is slower than most kids his age.  He doesn't get social cues and doesn't care about them either.  It is what it is, and although I understand that, I am still deeply ashamed and disappointed in both of my sons.  I wish I could run away from home now...

 Our last morning in Cedar Point I was standing in the bathroom brushing my teeth and I could hear Craig tusseling with Victoria.  She came to me with a pouting look on her face, "Mommeee, Daddy body slammed me on the bed." 

"Gee that sounds like fun honey." 

"No, I didn't like it.  Will you fart on him tonight?" 

I guess that is the ultimate payback in her mind.  Mommy farts on Daddy. LOL!

I gained weight the last two days, so I am up to 165.  All there was to eat in the park was soft pretzels, french fries, hamburgers, cheese burgers, fried chicken strips.  My parents took us out for pizza one night and to TGIFriday's (where I ate a salad) another night.  Today I will eat properly once again and hope to lose 1/2 - 1 pound by tomorrow. 

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Calories consumed: 1,100

Walking: None :-(

Water: Not much

I will do better with walking and water tomorrow!

 When it was good, it was very good; when it was bad, it was horrid.   How is that for a description of my days at Cedar Point? There is so much to tell that I am sure I won't be able to tell it all in one blog entry.  I am not a speedy or accurate typist.  I think I will categorize the description of our vacation by person. First up - Devon:

 

The Sunday before we left my dad called and wanted to confirm how many people in my family were planning on coming.  I told him that I would call Devon, because he was the only person who might back out.  I left Devon a message on his cell phone and let him know he had until that evening to let me know his decision so that my dad could order the park tickets online.  He responded by saying he was going.  He hates water parks and hates rides, so I had no clue why he said yes. 

 

The night before we left, he said no.  I told him that no was not an option at that time, because he had known about the trip for 6 months, plus he was given the option of backing out three days before, and the tickets were paid for.  He was being a butt about the whole thing. Grrr. I knew he wasn't going to make things pleasant, but I also knew that if we left him home, he would break into our house somehow and have a party.  Grandma couldn't possibly keep an eye on him constantly - especially in the middle of the night. 

 

Sure enough he sulked, pouted, tried his best to stay in our room the whole time and generally irritated the heck out of me.  In fact, it is safe to say that his language and attitude pissed off every adult in my family.  It all came to a  head at dinner Wednesday night.  Devon was sitting on the opposite end of the table from the adults with all of the other kids - including three 8 year olds.  I didn't hear what he was saying but it couldn't have been good, because suddenly my dad said, "Devon, I am sure you are impressing the heck out of the little kids, but if you cannot talk appropriately you need to sit at a different table or leave."  He left, walking through the entire restaurant proudly flipping us the bird the whole way.  I wanted to die, melt into the floor like the wicked witch on Wizard of Oz, or maybe even strangle him.  Craig went to "deal" with him and I took Victoria to the water park.  He will NEVER vacation with us again - ever. 

 

Andrew however, topped Devon's antics.  I get ill just thinking about it -so much so that I think I will take a break and write about that disaster later. 

Morning Weight: 153  (down 5.5 pounds) I just know I am going to blow it on vacation. :-(

Calories Consumed: 1,150

Water: 40 ounces

Walking: 1 hour

 

I found out that two ounces of red wine only has 42 calories, so I decided to follow my doctor's orders and drink one glass this evening. Maybe it will help me sleep tonight. I always get so keyed up before a trip, worrying that I have forgotten something, or that I will oversleep.  I'll be back on Friday! 

Today I have to get everything ready for our trip to Cedar Point.  One thing I hate about vacations is that I have always been 100% responsible for preparation.  I make the list, buy whatever we need, wash clothes to be packed, and do the packing.  I have my day cut out for me.  Thank goodness we will only be gone two nights, so we don't need a lot of clothes. 

 

This is the strangest vacation I have ever been on.  Craig, Devon and I hate amusement parks.  We don't ride roller coasters.  My dad planned the trip, and he and my mom don't ride the rides.  It will be interesting to see how many people out of our group of 16 will be daring enough to get on the rides.  It seems like buying all of the tickets is a pretty huge expense for people who just want to be spectators.  Then there is the question of what to do if it rains.  Right now there is a 50% chance of thunderstorms Wednesday and Thursday.   Every day that I have checked the forecast the chance of rain has increased 10%.  Joy.  The hotel had better have an indoor pool.  If it doesn't rain, we will all enjoy Soak City. 

 

My idea of a perfect vacation?  Rent a cottage on a nearby lake.  Craig and I would bring our pontoon boat, for fishing and cruising around.  Maybe we could rent a jet ski one day.  People could come to the cottage whenever it fits their schedule for the week.  Not everyone would have to spend the night, but if there were more people staying than the cottage could hold, we could pitch a tent in the yard.   We have a pretty big tent that has only been used twice.  Everyone could bring food and drinks to share.  If the men get restless they could go golfing.  If it rains we could play board games, cards, dominoes, watch movies, or read.

 

I have mentioned my idea to my parents.  They haven't been enthusiastic. So far my parents have taken us to Disney World in Florida and to the Wisconsin Dells.  (Both of them were awesome trips.) This year Cedar Point.  Maybe my idea will come into favor eventually. 

Morning Weight: 164.0

Calories Consumed: 1,330

Walked: 30 minutes

Water:  40 ounces

 I went a little over calories today because I drank a Mike's Hard Lime and had a small vanilla cone from Dairy Queen.

I cannot believe that I have lost 4.5 pounds in 4 days - without being hungry.  My friend Marilyn is going to Weight Watchers and has lost 6.5 pounds in two weeks. Yay for us!

Morning Weight: 165.5 (lost three pounds so far)

Calories Consumed: 1,275

Walking: 48 minutes

Water: drank @48 ounces

 

Temptation today: I want to drink a Mike's Hard Lime but I didn't leave myself enough calories to do that. Maybe tomorrow.

This morning's weight was 166.5.  I ate 1,270 calories.  I didn't walk.

This morning Victoria and I went to do volunteer work with our church.  Since our boys are selfish and believe that they are entitled to everything handed to them on a silver platter, I think I had better do something different with Victoria.  We went to our church's community center at Monroe Community Circle in South Bend, IN.  Specifically we worked with the ministery called Son City Kids, which is currently located in the Housing Authority building. 

 

Victoria had a very cheerful, positive attitude about working today.  She helped fill up bottles with bubbles and helped serve the kids muffins, danish, and juice boxes.  She felt very good about helping and charmed many of the volunteers.  We had blocks, dominoes, books, markers, crayons, paper, card games, board games, jump ropes, hoola-hoops, bubbles, magnetix, coloring books, and at least 40 volunteers.  Volunteers outnumbered the kids from the housing project. 

 

Some of the volunteers went and knocked on doors to get kids to come to play.  Victoria didn't understand why so many kids were still sleeping at 9:30 in the morning.  I explained that not all kids have parents who make them go to bed at a decent time.  The kids who came to Son City were between the ages of 2 and 12.  The bigger kids were obviously in charge of caring for their little siblings or cousins.  I am sure today wasn't an isolated event. I couldn't help but think about how Victoria's brothers and sister practically raised her until she  came to live with us.  Such a huge responsibility for a child to have at such a young age. 

 

One girl came in holding a wet cloth on her neck and tears in her eyes.  She had a mark on her neck that looked like a burn or maybe a bruise.  She said that she fell off her bike.  The team leader put ointment and a band-aid on the mark.  We both knew that she did't hurt her neck falling off of her bike.  She didn't have any scrapes on her knees, elbows, or hands.   

 

I spent a great deal of time playing with Magnetix with a boy who said he was 3 years old.  At one point he said, "When I get big and get a car and a girl, I am leaving this place and never coming back."  I asked if he knew where he was going and he vaguely pointed over his shoulder.  The rest of the time our conversation was focused on our "works of art" and how good it was to share our toys.  I hope he does manage to beat the cycle of poverty and leave the projects for good. 

 

Before leaving a teenage volunteer and I started making "cootie catchers" or "fortune tellers" for some girls.  We wrote messages on the inside: You are cool, Jesus loves you, You are smart, Smile!, So cute.  The kids loved them and other kids started asking for them.  I promised I would come back next time and make more.  Looks like I will be at MC3 (our church's name for the entire downtown ministry) on the second Saturday in August. 

Last week I stood on the scale and was horrified to see that it said 168.5, buck naked, first thing in the morning - after peeing.  I didn't weigh that much on the day I delivered Devon.  Back in September I weighed 150 pounds. I would like to get back there again soon. The worst thing is that the fat is all in my stomach.  My arms look thin and so do my legs but the middle is gross.   When I sit down, my 6 inch bottom roll sits on my lap.  (I have two of those lovely spare tires now.) EWWWW! 

 

I logged on to my computer and created a free account at calorie-count.com and started counting my calorie intake when I was eating normally.  It was an eye-opening experience.  I didn't think I was eating that much, but what I was eating wasn't healthy.  My nephew with Prader-Willie Syndrome has lost 55 pounds in 18 months by sticking to 1200 calories a day.  He doesn't exercise at all.  If a person with a genetic disorder that causes food obsession and low muscle tone can lose weight, what excuse do I have? 

 

So today is the first day I actually tried to stick to 1300 calories a day.  It took planning and food was all I thought about all day long.  That is the thing with dieting.  For it to work, I have to be obsessed with my diet.  I have to plan, shop constantly, force myself to drink water, make myself walk.  It has to be my main focus, or I slip up easily.  Today I stayed at 1300 calories exactly, had no hunger, and walked for an hour. 

 

If I can stick to the diet, the calculator on the website says I will reach my goal by November 9.  That seems like a long time away.  I think two pounds a week for 9 weeks is reasonable.  That would put me at September 14th.  18.5 pounds by September 14th sounds good to me.  That is going to be my goal. I made calorie-counter.com my home page, so every time I log onto my computer I see my goal and progress (or lack of).  Now I need my hubby to take a picture of my in my bathing suit (side view) and hang it in my room where I will see it every day - but no one else will! 

When Victoria runs out of relevent things to say she starts dreaming up stuff.  She must keep talking. Her big thing is to think of scenarios that couldn't possibly happen and start them with "what if."  Here is what she said last night on the way home.

"What if I had my finger out the car window, waving at someone, and a bird came along and landed on it? Would you be mad?" 

I couldn't think of anything charming or clever to say, so I said, "I would shoot the bird."

"MOM! How could you do such a thing?  I wouldn't let you!"

"Well I guess there would be a problem with that, since I don't even own a gun and if I did, I wouldn't be driving around with it in my car."
She rarely fails to get me engaged in her "conversation", no matter how ridiculous it is.  Booger.

 

So I went to the  Farmer's Market by myself today.  It is definitely a tourist trap, but I liked it.  I wandered around and then ate a home-made pretzel, while I sat and watched people. If you check out my latest pictures you will see oil candles.  I am asking for one for Christmas,with either the birdhouse theme or the gardening theme.  There were a few places to get lunch or breakfast, home-made ice cream, quilts, rugs, soaps, candles, vegetables, plants, furniture, candy, meat, flowers, musical instruments, and some clothing.   I purchased some Chicago Style popcorn on my way out, brought it home, and mixed it with some microwave butter popcorn.  The microwave popcorn helped stretch my purchase so my family could eat more. 

 

On the way home I stopped and took some pictures of the clouds.  It was a georgous day - sunny and breezy, with the temperature at 75 degrees.  I cranked up Fleetwood Mac in my car and opened the sun roof.  I must have listened to the song Tusk six times today.  For some crazy reason that song always lifts my spirits. 

 

This evening Victoria and I went to church.  The service was all praise and worship.  It was wonderful;   the perfect way to end the day. 

There are only two days left of Victoria going to camp.  One day I scrubbed the bathroom and did some major "straightening up" around here. I have done laundry. I spent one day doing school work and another just loafing in front of the computer.  Now I want to do something fun.  I want to go visit the American Countryside Farmer's Market near Elkhart. 

 

The problem is that everyone is busy.  My sister is on a cruise, Kelly has three kids, my mom has plans today, my mother-in-law is babysitting my autistic nephew, Marilyn is leaving for Wisconsin, Kathy is working, Karen has two rowdie boys and a baby... All I want is a friend to walk around the market with and look at all the booths, and maybe grab a sandwich.  I thought about taking Andrew with me, then I remembered how his autistic, teenage, mind works.  He hates crowds and would probably be bored to tears with booths of arts, crafts, flowers and plants.  Maybe I will just grab my camera and go by myself.  There are some advantages to being alone - like walking as slow as I want and looking at whatever I am interested in.  That just might be the right idea. I can take pictures and post them on my website.  I think I just might do that. 

 

Hey, this is the first time I have put a link in a blog entry.  Click on it and check out the market.  It looks awesome!

Yesterday I spent 4 hours figuring out what I want to teach my two ISTEP prep classes about preplanning their writing.  I made notes that describe the process step by step. Here they are in short form:

1. Make sure you know what the topic is. Read the prompt more than once.

2. Decide the purpose of the assigned writing. (I explained persuasive, response, analysis etc.)

3. Who is the audience?  adult, peer, friend, business associate...

4. Brainstorm - write everything that you think of regarding the topic.

5. Write your thesis statement - which is your topic and supporting evidence.

6. Organize - group related ideas together from your brainstorm list

7. Order - put points in order with the strongest last.

8. Write the essay.

*Helpful hints for writing: A paragraph is 6 - 8 sentences.  Use longer words, even if you spell them wrong.  Use descriptive words in your writing.

 

Next I made a graphic organizer for them to group their information by paragraph - in order.  Each box represents a paragraph and includes some helpful hints about the introductory and closing paragraphs. After they fill it out, they can begin writing.  I hope we can do preplanning as a class for one prompt, and then have them write the essay independently.  Maybe they will see that it is much easier to write the essay if they spend time planning their writing.  I have watched students write essays in class and on the ISTEP.  They just want to sit down and begin writing.  The results are disasterous. 

 

I haven't even begun to make notes on proofreading and editing.  I haven't chosen the prompts, or found practice exercises for reading comprehension.  I want to find or make sentences that the students can edit for punctuation and spelling each day when they come into class.  Once I do all of that, I have to shop for supplies and make a zillion copies for my 69 students.  Obviously this is going to take more than the 14.5 hours of prep that I get paid for. 

 

Isn't it ironic that the person who spends her time writing meandering thoughts would be chosen to teach formal writing?  An English teacher would be far more qualified, but I guess none of them wanted to give up any of their summer break.  Three out of the four teachers working in ISTEP prep are special education teachers.  Maybe we are crazy.  Maybe we are desperately poor.  Maybe we want our students to succeed, and will go the extra mile to make that happen.  Maybe it is all of the above.